My Secret Diet Shame Exposed

As if there's something worse than being fat.  Well, actually there are tons of things worse than being fat.  But here goes.  Although I was perfectly capable of getting fat on my own, I am apparently unable to get unfat on my own.

So--here goes--I am doing Jenny Craig. 

I hate that I am doing Jenny Craig.  I am a smart woman and I should be able to do this myself.  But the fact is that my own diet attempt have failed.  I've mostly avoided the fad diets, but at the beginning of this summer I made a conscious effort to eat "healthy" and exercise more. 

I gained 10 pounds.

I fully believe in that whole initial weight gain at the beginning of an exercise program, but this was a steady increase in weight over the course of 2 months--more a testament to the idea that exercise doesn't make you lose weight.

So anyway, Jenny it is.  I have to say, it's not awful.  The food is actually pretty decent (this from a former all-from-scratch cook).  But more importantly, I've been incorporating way more fruits and fresh vegetables into my diet.  I feel like this was the jump-start I needed to get me on the right track. 

This isn't the way I want to live long-term, but I think it's going to make a good jumping off point.  And actually, that's what Jenny Craig is about: Teaching the right skills to make good choices in the future.  Right now, I feel like I'm going to do it. 

No, I know I'm going to do it. 

My Family Makes Me Fat

Well, not exactly, but what is it about family--or perhaps it's just MY family--that makes every event into a food fest??  Last week my parents came out to visit along with my niece and nephew.  It was great to have them, but I did not stick to my plan for even one single second of one single day.  We had barbecues and beach parties and trips to water parks.  There were hamburgers and chips and cakes and even chili-cheese fries.  Seriously, self?  I've never eaten chili-cheese fries in my entire life, but as soon as I go on a diet...?  My niece and nephew probably think the hot dog is the state food of California!  Thank goodness they live four states away.

Needless to say, the weight loss came to a standstill last week.  I skipped weigh-in, but showed a gain of nearly two pounds on my home scale.  Gee, how many times has that happened before in my dieting life?  Only every single other time I've been on a diet.  Same old story.

Or is it?  THIS time, instead of wallowing in my own self-pity and self-loathing, I got back on plan.  I've had five solid days, meeting my calorie and exercise goals.  And it's working--my home scale shows that I've already lost those extra pounds and taken off a few more to go with them!  Yay me, getting back on track!  Weigh-in is two days away, so we'll see then, but I'm pretty confident that I'll have a loss.

I have so much more I want to write about and not enough time.  Definitely have to tell you about my super cool gadget but it's already ten o'clock, so that means it'll have to wait.

Celebrations can weight. Or wait.

I officially started my diet* on August 1st.  I'm happy to report that so far things are going well.  The first week I followed my food plan exactly for six days out of seven.  First week loss =  5.0 pounds!  Great, right?

Now, I'm happy and all, but there is definitely an environmental factor at work here as well.  My initial weigh-in was in the afternoon and the first week weigh-in was at 7:30 a.m.  I know my weight fluctuates five pounds or more per day from morning til night, so at least some portion of that weight loss was due to being weighed early, before I had eaten or drunk anything. 

Now my concern is that I will not lose or possibly even gain this week.  My normal weigh-in is going to be Thursday evenings, so that whole a.m. vs. p.m. issue is going to come into play again--and this time it will NOT be in my favor! 

Yesterday was also my birthday, so I did eat dinner off plan.  My scale this morning was pretty forgiving, so we'll see how it goes.

The important thing is that none of this is going to derail me.  I don't need to be perfect every second of every day. I'm all in and it's going to take more than a few glasses of wine or an uncooperative scale to throw me!

*I know, I know... It's not a "diet" it's a "lifestyle change."  Whatever.  Eventually that's what I'm aiming for, but at this point it is definitely a diet since I'm following a proscribed food plan.  I'll write more about that another time.

Tilting at Windmills?

Not this time! 

Hmmm...  How exactly does one start a blog?  A big pronouncement?  Here goes:
     
Look out world, Julie is going to lose sixty pounds and change life as we know it on this planet.

Maybe not.

So, self-conscientiousness aside, here we go!  I have a plan, not just for losing the weight, but for really pushing myself  outside of my comfort zone in the next year.  Hopefully this blog is going to help keep me accountable--the good and the bad.  Yes, I'm sure there will be bad days, days I feel like giving up or eating an entire pizza by myself, but when I look back I want to be able to see why and work at making changes. 

So let's get started.  I'm ready!